THE MASH-UP: Purposed Isolation = Better Individuals = Better Relationships
Emotional distance in a relationship is a pain in the ass. It definitely doesn’t feel good.
If one partner is disconnected while the other is all-in, then for that person the question “is it me?” becomes a dark cloud that just looms over head. I’m experiencing emotional distance in my relationship right now and let’s just say I’m not the one disconnected (this time)… UGH.
The Context Historically, God uses purposed isolation to bring about unparalleled individual growth. Purposed Isolation is what I call it when a person is disconnected from people or things because they are experiencing a yearning from MORE. They can’t exactly express what that “more” is but they are confident what they have is not satisfying them on their deepest level. I think the emotional distance I’m feeling in my relationship right now is actually a purposed isolation occurring within my BF. We love each other (that’s not in question) yet there’s something that he is not finding in this relationship. We went through this before only I was the one disconnected. (Unfortunately for him, I moved cross country & we broke up for a while… *shrugs – don’t judge me.* BTW, I am doing much better now. Thanks for asking.)
When we went through emotional distance before (due to my purposed isolation) it felt like he was constantly reaching out to me but I knew I wasn’t reciprocating emotionally. My “I LOVE YOUs” were honest and yet laced with so many internal questions that I knew he felt the hesitation. He would call me and put out effort but I couldn’t focus on him with a yearning more that great inside of me. For the record, now I know that sucked for him! In the end, it was better for him and US that I grow up into a better Sherrie – closer to God’s original design.
The Truth beyond The Facts
He is my gift from God. I now value him on a much deeper level. I am learning how to express my love, respect, and appreciation in a way that he experiences it (beyond the words). I am eternally grateful that we’re back together. I am committed to him and US as we ride out his purposed isolation. Babe, if you ever read this, I LOVE YOU and I see you in MY future!
More to Come Shhh… don’t tell my BF but I am going to let you in on a private conversation I had with him in my head. (Yes, I said, “in my head”) He hasn’t heard it yet because I don’t know if it’s the right time. But I’m a writer and I had to get it out so shhh (look for it in Part 3B)…