Part 3b: Separated for Increase (The Private Conversation)

THE MASH-UP: (Read Part 3a: Separated for Increase (but I miss my boo). It is the prelude to this blog post – a true must read)

If you have every felt a noticeable emotional distance between you and your boyfriend/girlfriend because one of you were on a personal search for “something” more – you’ll enjoy this. (Welcome back to those from Part 3a! If you’re not one of those, I recommend reading “Part 3a: Separated for Increase (but I miss my boo)“)


“… No matter how many questions you ask me and I answer honestly and truthfully every last one of them, you still will not have the answer for which you’re looking. On a deep level, you avoid asking  me questions because if I answer and you still have that feeling, then where do you go? What do you do? The place (me) to where you had taken that “unspoken” question becomes yet another place of expectations unmet, yet another place where you could not find a resolve- and thus returns the feeling of unsettledness.

Here’s the deal: What you need is not me. I know it sounds crazy – but you don’t need me. I am a gift to you- as you are to me. You don’t need my strong support (well, it’s not the first thing you need). You need your purpose. You need your validation; and you need your validation from your Daddy – the big “D” daddy)! I am a gift. I am a heaven-sent gift. I’ll support you strongly because that’s what I’m designed to do. However, I was never intended to be the reason you wake up in the morning. I’m not designed to be the source of your joy. I am a gift, a resource, an element your Daddy has given to you out of love to help you do what you were created to do. The catch: You have to know your purpose in order to appreciate me and my role in supporting your destiny. The gift can never define you. The gift cannot give you purpose. You need to acknowledge The Giver. You need to ask The Giver what your purpose is so you can appreciate the gift.

Want an example? OK. It’s like someone knowing you are destined to be a writer before you ever discover that. One day they give you a pen & a journal. It feels great to have them but all you ever do is use them to make supermarket lists. Until one day in the passion of a moment- anger or happiness- you find yourself needing to “release” and you grab your pen & journal and write what ends up being the first words of your award-winning books. Then for the first time, you are deeply grateful and appreciative of the gift and it begins to carry a special place in your heart.”

The challenge for me is that not only am I a gift, I am also a sensitive woman already in love with you, God’s gift to me. As a woman I desire to be carried in a special place in your heart, which at this moment is occupied by questions flowing from your mind. Luckily for me, I know my Daddy intimately. He is my source; giving me what I need until you are fully operating in your divine purpose to be God’s gift to others. The other good thing for me is that because of my intimate relationship with my Daddy, just like Abraham and Jesus, He allows me an intimate glimpse into the future … We’re there together. There is love, peace, happiness, and divine purpose! Selah.

So the message to me is the same… “don’t take the distance you feel personally – PROVE GOD, SHERRIE.” (Oh and don’t kill the love of your life for getting on your nerves *shrugs – coy smile*).

### Thanks for reading this 4-part blog series on Love & My Relationship. This has been new for me to speak so personally about any relationship and I found a peace in speaking life and truth to what I am experiencing inside. I’ll be back when he proposes. Until then, Good night… ###


10 thoughts on “Part 3b: Separated for Increase (The Private Conversation)

  1. Yet another great read, for the mind as well as the spirit!

    However, it’s a challenging course when your “other” fails to appreciate or refuses to accept your appointed ‘something other’.
    But if it’s your appointment, you drive forward none the less, right?

    Keep the enlightening reads coming.

    1. Right re: driving forward. “Failure to appreciate/Refusal” are all residuals effects. I just wish for him happiness. 😉
      I love that you enjoy the blog posts (and comment). The next post will be much lighter! *smile*

  2. That first paragraph is sooooo me talking to my bf (in my head)…. I was never really able to put those words to the feeling for him to understand but it expressed my feelings perfectly. (It also told me to stop asking questions that he really cannot answer). We ask these questions but there are no perfect answers. We ask questions for things we dont want the answers to or things that really cant be answered but we keep asking. We are asking seeking to satisfy what is insatiable. But you are 100% correct. We have to minimize the questions (cuz it is human nature to be inquisitve) but shift our focus more towards what we are to each other. Not the end all be all but the compliment, the extra, the accessory, the puzzle piece… two ppl coming together not forming one but forming two distinct pieces that operate well enough alone but together, they enhance each other.

    Good one.. btw, I dont need these to go “lighter”…. I love the openness and honesty of your posts. Keep ’em coming 🙂

    1. There is great value in being a valued addition in a person’s life!!!! Yay! I don’t know if I have it in me to keep this public line of relationship discussion coming by blog. It’s still me- and you know how I get. lol. But open and honest is guaranteed!

      …but maybe i’ll write a book :-).

    1. Hey Tan! Thanks for reading the blog AND commenting. Yessss! This was the more accurately expressed version of The Big Easy convo. CONGRATULATIONS again on the new book. I can’t wait to spread the word once you’re out of production.

      1. You’re welcome. And by the way. . .you better write a book! The way you have eloquently expressed your thoughts is a genuine work of art my friend.

  3. Word! Love it Rie!!! So happy that you have found words for your feelings and that you are comfortable expressing them! Nothing like a release…Love it!

    1. Hey Su! There is nothing like a healthy release. I always knew I liked words. However, I did not know the catharsis I would experience in writing for public consumption. Thanks for the support.

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