THE MASH-UP: GOOD RELATIONSHIPS have EX-es TO THANK!
This is going to be a short post so stay focused — :-).
I used to say,
“I’d be pissed if I “fix up” a man for some other sister to get him.”
However, when I reflect on my own “brokenness” that brothers-of-yesterYears fixed/endured so I could be a better woman to men-of-today ——————- THE UNIVERSE SEEMS TO BE BALANCING WELL. In retrospect, I don’t think people “fix” other people anyway. Some relationships just give us the space we need to mess up so we can learn what not to do the next time.
I said this in one of my last posts: I’m not convinced there are ills of relationships so much as there are ills of people in relationships.
So conversely, there are no inherently healthy relationships, simply healthy people in relationships. That being said, I know I’m a better dater today than when I started dating. When I look back at the things that I did then but don’t do now for the most part I have an EX to thank.
For many of my unhealthy personal habits that I just did not see when I was single or first dating there is an EX-boyfriend that suffered through it and complained about it and ultimately I saw “uh ohhh that’s a relationship ending move.”
So to all my EX-es (many ending amicably, one in a stalemate of silence but hopefully not hatred), my husband-to-be and I thank you! For obvious reasons, EX-es get a bad wrap but I am a better person because I worked out some of my -ish with you. Maybe, just maybe, you all can say the same about me.
For kicks, here are some of my bad personal habits that have frustrated EXes:
constantly speaking in metaphors and saying NOTHING because I had a hard time sharing my feelings; going “dark” aka disappearing without warning; not calling to say when I arrived safely to a new state; not liking to answer questions (still working on that); and lately I’ve discovered I was secretly spiteful (at least it was a secret to me – I really didn’t realize that’s what I was being). ~~~ don’t judge me ;-).